Hello, lovelies! I feel like I haven’t updated in a million years. Sigh, this has to do with the fact that I have my final exams going on, and while I’d like to say I have been drowning in my books, I truthfully haven’t.
Anyway, last month I turned 18 and I forgot to make a post. I usually do on my birthdays, but I think I didn’t really give much thought to turning 18. Like, I don’t necessarily think it’s anything special. I’m usually never this bummed out during birthdays, so I can’t really tell what exactly is the reason I’m feeling like this.
(Although, I think it is because it’s an important age, because college, blah blah, stuff I’m only partially excited for.)
So, there’s a lot that’s been happening over the course of the few months – weeks, even, if I might add. My feelings have been all over the place, and I have truthfully become a little more bitter than usual, but maybe this is just a temporary feeling, so I’m not really doing much about it.
I haven’t been writing lately, and I decided this dry spell should probably end.
So, anyway, as I mentioned before, my feelings are all over the place, and I’m not quite sure how I should be addressing this? It’s weird, kind of. Like a very heavy, yet light feeling in my chest and I just want to curl up into a ball and lay like that for the longest time.
I’m craving some kind of home, that probably never was a home, but the warmth and comfort of it on certain days made me feel warm, cozy and happy.
It’s was 3 years ago, when I lost that ‘home’, but I want it back. Mostly because, I’m partly jealous someone else took my spot to call it a ‘home’.
A home that was my place during troublesome times, when a boy was my world, and sometimes, it got so overwhelming, I would need that comfort.
But it’s okay, I guess. I’ve made home within myself. But I’d like it if I got that chance again, to feel that warmth again, because my home here is a little bit of a mess, and I need some warmth, comfort and quilt-like coziness.