From the ages of 8-12, I was undeniably yet arguably the most loud, brash and unapologetically annoying person anyone would have ever met.
Since I turned 13, I resorted to becoming the reserved kind. But I still lashed out when necessary.
I was 15 when I thought my whole life went down the drain. It turned out to be the exact opposite. Life was good. I just didn’t see it.
I was 16 when things actually went down the drain. Right in front of my eyes. Piece by piece. Falling into an endless abyss of misery, I was flailing my arms to stay afloat. I had my heart broken in the worst possible way. I mingled with the wrong set of people. (Of course. *cue eye-roll*.) You know how incredibly frustrating it is, when a person acts like a nice person to cover their actual demeanour of the douchey-asshole they always were? I should’ve acknowledged the red-flags when they were blaring in a full and bright manner, in front of my face. I wouldn’t use the quote, ‘it’s better late than never’ in this situation, because realising how much of an asshole this piece of shit is, at this stage, was just a bad idea.
And, since I can’t really do anything, the maximum I can do is blame myself for getting enamoured over their niceness, when really, this person is just a pathetic excuse for a human being.
I’m 17 now, and a lot wiser than I apparently was. I’m an irritated, filled with rage 24/7, ready to punch people, full of angst, teenager. (Who can also be nice. I think. At least, that’s what my friends tell me.) (Just kidding. I’m nice. I like people. Well, some of them who are genuinely nice to me.)
I’m stuck with classmates who think that standing up for myself against said person I’m so pissed at, is WRONG.
Yes. You’re reading it right. People actually don’t like me, because I take a stand for myself everytime he passes a degrading comment at me. A little over a week ago, I had lost my shit completely, and decided that if the only way to talk to this person was through a Facebook status, I might as well make my point loud and very fucking clear.
And I did just that.
I posted a status that called the person out for behaving like an over enthusiastic and absolutely unnecessary entertainment website that made a big deal out of everything, and how it would be incredibly nice if he came and addressed his problem with ME personally, instead of blabbering utter trash from his mouth, with a lot of lies coated upon his ‘problem’ with me, to everyone in my grade.
He saw it. (Someone had sent him a screenshot of my status) And the first thing I heard when I got to school was,
“She used to be so nice. Now she’s posting statuses like that.”
Just a protip, I am nice to everyone I see. I am nice when people are nice to me. So if I’m genuinely not talking to you, it’s one of the two; I’m lazy with this whole socialising thingammy or I genuinely don’t like talking to you, that I can’t be bothered.
It’s in my basic tendencies (or everybody’s, rather) to constantly want to prove myself right. There’s only upto a certain extent you can keep doing that, and I did. I reached that saturation point where it hit me that, those who mind this so called problem, don’t matter and those who don’t mind this so called problem, matter.
In a way, what he’s doing does account to bullying and what my batchmates/classmates do, account to victim-shaming. And that is wrong. Absolutely wrong. I refuse to be blamed for being the target of bullshit. I refuse to apologise for things I’ve never done. I know, I’m nice, a bomb-ass unicorn, but, I will NEVER take the blame for your crap.
In conclusion, I will fight to death to get my point across. And I will do that by barely reacting to what his stupid ass is up to. You know? Just keep going on like this thing doesn’t bother me at all.
As for the rest of the easily mouldable ones, I hope you know I could really care less about what you think of me. I never gave a shit, and I still don’t give a shit.